I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
