Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
