FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
