All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
