I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
We are two peas in an std pod
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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