My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Randomize