nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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