So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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