at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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