i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Dignity is for republicans.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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