No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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