That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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