eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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