its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Randomize
