there was a trapeze. enough said
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I think a kid would responsible me up
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
