Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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