im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having hate sex.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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