After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
