my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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