some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
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After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
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it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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