if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
