brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
