2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
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