My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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