my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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