That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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