At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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