At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
