I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
