There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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