Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
