Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Dicks are not precious.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
