The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
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You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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