I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
