so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
