I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up