I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
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i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
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Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.