i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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