Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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