i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
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