your thong is hanging out like whoa
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
