he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize