i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize