puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
