Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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