Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize