we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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