she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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