last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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