If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
