Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
please come you make the beer taste better
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
