i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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