i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
