We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
