Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
