whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
