We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
