take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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