3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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